I will not suck you

And I will not be sucked on--by you.

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Just pulled this little guy out of her packaging, rubbed her down with salt*, gave her a rinse, and found the most immaculate heart I’ve ever seen in a grocery store chicken. I’m not sure if I’m going to just swallow it whole and raw with a shot of SLIVOVITZ, or if I’m going to bring it outside on a skewer and char it in the fire. The raw method with SLIVOVITZ seems like the best option, but it is a grocery store chicken, even if it’s organic. FUCK IT. IT’S THE EVE OF THE SOLSTICE. I’M SWALLOWING IT WHOLE WITH A SHOT OF SLIVOVITZ. *No, in case you were wondering, I’m not jewish. But if even 1/10th of everything that’s said about the jews is true, they must be doing something right. And the salt rinse really does make a difference. 

Just pulled this little guy out of her packaging, rubbed her down with salt*, gave her a rinse, and found the most immaculate heart I’ve ever seen in a grocery store chicken.

I’m not sure if I’m going to just swallow it whole and raw with a shot of SLIVOVITZ, or if I’m going to bring it outside on a skewer and char it in the fire. The raw method with SLIVOVITZ seems like the best option, but it is a grocery store chicken, even if it’s organic.

FUCK IT. IT’S THE EVE OF THE SOLSTICE. I’M SWALLOWING IT WHOLE WITH A SHOT OF SLIVOVITZ.

*No, in case you were wondering, I’m not jewish. But if even 1/10th of everything that’s said about the jews is true, they must be doing something right. And the salt rinse really does make a difference.